The most idiotic fic ever written
by HarryandGinny
Summary: the title says all


Voldie: Boring boring boring. This is so boring. I told them that I wanted to be a ballerina, but they make me an evil villain. It's so unfair!! *Voldie starts crying.* I want my mommy!!!!!  
  
Lucius: There, there, master. I know you wanted to be a ballerina. But since you can't be, why don't we go terrorize Hogwarts?  
  
Voldie: *brightens.* Okay! I need to show them my new dance routine!!! Hang on!!!! *Runs off.*  
  
Lucius: *shakes head.* What am I going to do? My master has gone insane!!!  
  
3 Hours Later  
  
*Voldie and Company are marching up the Hogwarts Lawn. Harry and Ron and Hermione and Ginny are in Gryffindor Tower.*  
  
Ronny: Look, everybody! Voldie-poo is here!!!!!!  
  
Everybody: Gasp!!!!  
  
Ronny: What?  
  
Everybody: Eek!!  
  
Ronny: What's going on?  
  
Everybody: Turn around!!!!  
  
Ronny: *turns around to see..* Voldie-poo!! You're my idol!!! I wanna be just like you!!! Well, without killing and torturing and all the other evil stuff you do.  
  
Voldie-poo: *giggles prettily.* Really? I thought that my only idoler was sweet little Petey here.  
  
Petey: Um, master? It's Peter, not Petey.  
  
Voldie: I like Petey. Now Silence!!  
  
Hermione: But You Know Who-  
  
Voldie-poo: *cries.* I don't wanna be evil!!! I wanna be a ballerina!!!  
  
Hermione: Sorry. But anyway, idoler is not a word.  
  
Me: HEY! It is too a word!!! *Shows Hermione her dictionary, Those Strange and Made Up Words.* See? Page 438, Idoler. Meaning, one who idols.  
  
Hermione: But that's not a real dictionary!!  
  
Me: Is so!!!  
  
Hermione: Not!!  
  
Me: Is so!!  
  
Hermione: Not!!  
  
Me: Is!!  
  
Hermione: Not!!!  
  
Me: IS!!!!  
  
Hermione: NOT!!  
  
Harry: *comes out of a trance that Ginny put him in and sees Petey.* NOOOOOOO! MUST KILL!!!!!! *Lunges at Petey.*  
  
Petey: *ducks.* Master! Help!!  
  
Padfoot: AVADA KEDAVRA!!!!!! *Kills Petey.*  
  
Dumbledore: *appears out of nowhere.* Who killed someone?? That's against the school rules! I need to give you a detention!!  
  
Padfoot: It was me. See, You Know Who is here with the scumbag.  
  
Voldie-poo: *cries.* Don't call me You Know Who!!! I don't wanna be evil!!! I wanna be.*a dreamy look comes on his face.* A ballerina!!!!  
  
Everyone: Huh?  
  
Voldie-poo: Watch my new dance routine!!! *dances a weird dance.*  
  
Everyone: er...okay.  
  
Voldie-poo: What's that? You want an encore? Certainly!! *Continues dancing.*  
  
Hermione: Um, like, that's awesome!!!!  
  
Voldie-poo: *blushes.* Thanks!!! Dumbledore: Anyway, where were we? Ah, yes. Detention, Mr. Black!  
  
Padfoot: But I don't go to this school anymore!!  
  
Dumbledore: Point? Come on!  
  
Draco: *appears out of nowhere.* Hi, everyone!!! Has anyone seen my lacy pink bikini bottom? I can only find the top!!  
  
Draco's fan club: *stampedes in.* DRAKEY DRAKEY DRAKEY DRAKEY!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU DRAKEY!!!!!  
  
Drakey: Er, ok. Thanks. Bye.  
  
Drakey's fan club: *smothers him.*  
  
Drakey: HELP!  
  
McGonagall: *comes in.* What is all this noise? AHHHH!! VOLDEMORT!!! OUT!! DETENTION!!! EXPULSION!!  
  
Lucius: Out before he kills you, woman!  
  
Voldie-poo: *cries.* Haven't I told you that I don't like killing? I wanna be a ballerina!!  
  
McGonagall: Really? Me, too!!! *stares at Voldie-poo dreamily.*  
  
Voldie-poo: *stares at McGonagall dreamily.*  
  
Harry: *Stares at Ginny dreamily.*  
  
Ginny: *Stares at Harry dreamily.*  
  
Hermione: *Stares at Sna-* SNAPE? You stupid authoress, what are you doing?  
  
Me: Whoops!!! Sorry about that!! ABABA KABABABABABA!!!! *Snape's name turns into Ron.*  
  
Hermione: *Stares at Ron dreamily.*  
  
Ron: *Stares at Hermione dreamily.*  
  
Drakey: Enough with the staring and has anyone seen my lacy pink bikini bottom?  
  
Me: *Stares at Oliver dreamily.*  
  
Oliver: *Stares at his broom dreamily.*  
  
McGonagall: *Starts to snog Voldie-poo.  
  
Everyone: *Snogs their one true love.*  
  
Drakey: But I NEED MY BIKINI BOTTOM!!! NOOOOOO!!!! BIKINI BOTTOM!!!!!! *Cries.*  
  
Drakey's fan club: *comes back.*  
  
A fan: Here it is, Drakey poo!!!  
  
Drakey: My bikini bottom!!!!! *huggles it.* Yay!!!! *Snogs the girl who gave it to him.  
  
Drakey's fan club: *kills the girl.*  
  
Drakey: *brings her back to life, banishes everyone, and returns to snogging.*  
  
McGonagall: *leads Voldie-poo up to who knows where.*  
  
Voldie-poo: *Cries.* I told you!!! I'm Voldie-poo, not you know who!  
  
Me: It says you know where, not you know who.  
  
Voldie-poo: Okay!! *continues snogging mcgonagall.*  
  
Well, that's it, folks!!!!!! Happy ending all around. 


End file.
